top corner

Why Some Poker Players Struggle in Relationships

The poker life can be a lonely and difficult one. Often, you will hear about poker players going through a divorce or having trouble maintaining long-term romantic relationships.

Why do some poker players have long-term relationships while others struggle? Today, we take a quick look at a few reasons behind this.

The Significant Other Comes From Outside the Poker World

The most common reason a poker player splits from his significant other or spouse is that the partner does not understand the poker lifestyle. This comes from getting together with someone from outside of the poker world.

Often, the significant other does not understand the ups and downs of the poker world and mistake it for simple gambling. There may be financial struggles or the poker player spends a lot of time away trying to chase a living. The spouse or partner feels left out and even rejected and this drives a wedge between the two.

The most successful marriages and relationships in the game are usually between players or those that are connected to the poker world. Doyle Brunson is one of the few people I can think of that married someone outside of poker and the relationship lasted a lifetime. Daniel Negreanu, Jason Mercier, Kristen Bicknell, and others married someone in poker or connected to the poker world, and that has made a world of difference.

The Poker Player Struggles With Addiction

There is a dark side to poker, and often it centers around addiction. Addiction can take many forms, including addiction to gambling. The most common addiction is to drugs and alcohol. These addictions drive wedges between the strongest couples and eventually leads to separation or divorce.

Addiction to gambling can also be just a debilitating. If a poker player is addicted to other forms of gambling, such as sports betting or betting on casino games, it can cause a myriad of social and financial problems. Often, there’s not enough love in the world to counterbalance addiction – at least not without treatment.

Sexual Affairs

It’s no secret that some poker players have struggled to be monogamous. Barry Greenstein even spoke to this point in Ace on the River. He even recommended that some poker players have a side girl while traveling to satisfy sexual needs that cannot be met by their spouse or partner.

Remember when Greg Raymer got busted for solicitation?

Few people are willing to be in open marriages and once an affair happens, it is often impossible to salvage the relationship. It happens, but not often.

Granted, it may not be the poker player that cheats. Sometimes the significant other cheats on the poker player as they are not around to meet their emotional needs. Often, it is the emotional connection that is the reason behind an affair rather than sexual need.

The Poker Player Struggles at Poker

While this sounds petty and materialistic, there are times where a poker player will lose their significant other when they struggle at poker. They get together with someone expecting a certain lifestyle, and if the poker player cannot meet it, they move on to someone they think can.

This usually boils down to money. When a poker player is flush with cash and can buy anything they want, life is good. Once they start struggling, the significant other decides to take off for greener pastures.

The Significant Other Wants Out of the Poker Life

For some players, there comes a time where their spouse wants out of the poker life. Maybe they don’t want to live in a casino town or they want to be closer to family or friends. Also, if the couple has children, they may want to live in a safer area.

Whatever the reason, the significant other wants out of the poker life and gives an ultimatum to the poker player. They can leave poker, or leave them. Annie Duke and Cindy Violette both tried to leave poker, but once the relationship collapsed, they came back to the game.

This last one can be tough because it makes the poker player make what’s often the most difficult decision of their life. Some choose to leave the game for their spouse or partner. Others choose poker. It’s about as close a Catch-22 as you’ll get in the game.

bottom corner